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- Domestic Violence against men and double standards
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| Domestic Violence against men and double standards | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: May 26 2014, 09:11 AM (7,682 Views) | |
| Copy_Ninja | May 26 2014, 09:11 AM Post #1 |
Novacane for the pain
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Now, of course a couple of things to note about the video. It is edited to look a certain way so those shots of people laughing might not have happened at the same time or the same thing, they might have just been in the general area and not looking at them (though some probably were) but just keep it in mind. However, there is one thing that's undeniable. It didn't take long for a bunch of people to stand up to the guy getting violent with the girl. He was hounded by people and they were there quickly. Flip the genders and no one cares. There's a perception is society that men are stronger than women so the latter can't abuse the former. It just isn't true. That situation does happen around the world. Basically, double standards go both ways. |
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| + Pyrus | May 26 2014, 09:45 AM Post #2 |
 
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Domestic violence is high on the type of call we get often at the police station. A woman beating on a man is rather rare, but it does happen, and it's usually with a sharp object when it does. "He (possibly) cheated on her," "he hung out with his buddies too long one night and didn't check in with her," "he's just being a jerk." False justification. Us men have to suck it up, though. Things are not and never will be equal on that front. |
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| + Pelador | May 26 2014, 11:18 AM Post #3 |
Crazy Awesome Legend
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It can happen to any of us. Doesn't matter how big and tough you think you are, if a woman gets in your head then the potential for abuse is there. |
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| + Steve | May 26 2014, 11:51 AM Post #4 |
Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
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Yeah I think women are more for psychological abuse than physical, both can happen of course but the former seems to be way more prevalent. I've seen my fair share of domestic disputes around the country and often find the woman saying things like "Hit me then! Go on you coward!" instead of attacking men women can push their buttons better. Which to be honest I think is disgusting. Maybe it's some weird masochism thing but doubtful, setting someone up so that they're so incredibly angry that they hit you and go to jail is a really pathetic thing to do. It doesn't matter what's wrong with the man either he could be schizophrenic or anything that makes him unnaturally easy to set off, the moment he touches her he's Satan. May sound outlandish but due to this I think the punishment for men hitting women should be way less severe in the first instance, physically lashing out is just a natural response that's what we'd do in the wild, that's what chimps and apes do. It's not like a person goes out of their way to be evil when someone is deliberately winding them up and watching them go, so it's extremely unfair to label someone who lashes out a "monster" for one wee slap or something. If they go overboard and put the person in hospital that's too much obviously. Anyway women give as good as they get, they just have greater access to sympathy with the "women are frail" card. |
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| Meowth | May 26 2014, 12:47 PM Post #5 |
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Given the timing of this topic, with the recent incident in the news, I'm not sure it's the best thing to be discussing. Violence is indeed violence and I'm sure it does happen to men, just not on the same scale, if people actually start getting physical in public, the police generally get involved, in the house is a different matter but in such a public area as that video, something would have happened. Not everyone thinks "Oh he's a man, he can take it." because that's a stupid way of thinking. People are people, treat everyone equally. And there is far more inequality towards women than there is towards men. |
 
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| Copy_Ninja | May 26 2014, 01:26 PM Post #6 |
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Novacane for the pain
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To be honest I hadn't even heard of the Isla Vista incident until about an hour ago when #YesAllWomen started trending on my facebook. Not really been reported that much over here. Still, it's not like only one side of something can be discussed at once and this topic isn't intended to discredit that movement whatsoever.
Well not everyone does but the response in the video is telling. Multiple people went over and tried to intervene when the woman was on the receiving end but with the man no one came to help even though the actions and responses of the two were the same, some people were even laughing. Now that's not necessarily indicative of society as a whole but domestic violence against men gets far less attention (and with 40% of domestic violence victims being men I don't think the coverage is proportionate) and there's a greater social stigma around it.
Well yes that's really the point.
Also true but it doesn't negate the fact that there's occurrences for both genders and each issue deserves coverage. |
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| Tim | May 26 2014, 01:28 PM Post #7 |
Forum Royalty
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Okay, excuse me while I rant at you all for this. And before you even think about it do not dare start any reply to this post with "not all men_" FAIR WARNING, THIS POST MAY CONTAIN SOME INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGE IN LINKS. THESE WILL ALL BE IN SPOILERS. CLICK THEM AT YOUR OWN RISK. Yes, there are -some- cases in which woman may cause some form of domestic violence but it is by far the minority. To quote Margaret Atwood - "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." This is the social equivalent of people saying straight people are being oppressed by homosexuals. Yes it does happen, no it is not on the same level. Yes I am making an extreme point, because some people on this forum do not seem to understand the concept of what woman have to go through in terms of violence from men. http://fishingboatproceeds.tumblr.com/post/86887984048/smartgirlsattheparty-yungsunshine Look at this small example that John Green shared on his tumblr. These are responses with the #YesAllWoman hashtag in relation to the "Not all men_" scenario that some people seem to think justifies the behaviour. Let's take this recent scenario as an example. A college student talked about his life in a video before going on a rampage and killing a lot of people: Inappropriate Language and triggers, read at your own risk How many times do you see woman act in this manner? I sure don't remember any. We are taught socially to act in such a way that woman are still objectified and is one of the main reasons there is massive amounts of violence and abuse against them. Society teaches women that if they haven’t been kissed by a man or had sex with a man, there must be something wrong with them. Men learn that if women don’t want to kiss or have sex with them, there must be something wrong with women (and possibly the government and world), not themselves. Yes there are cases when woman will act out but it is nothing compared to that which woman take from men and is seen as socially acceptable. First a girl gets stabbed and killed by a dude at school because she refused to go to prom with him, now seven women are dead and more are injured because some idiot tool felt like sex or even attention from women was something that was somehow “owed” to him. How many more times does this have to happen before we start getting it through our heads that male entitlement kills people?  I'm not saying ignore it when woman are violent, i'm just saying your view on it as a double standard is wrong because you are looking at this from a privileged viewpoint where you've never had to walk home with your keys in your hand because you were worried about being attacked and you needed to be ready to defend yourself. Yet it is still something which is blamed on women somehow? Or mental illness, it isn't seen as a hate crime at all. It's a sad story about a talented young man who lost his way... And that's wrong. Taking the step from there, friendzone ideology isn’t attacked because “nice guys” are comical or because fedoras make a funny meme, it’s because this logic is literally dangerous. This logic of “gentleman = deserving sex” breeds hatred of women, and brutal violence against women, and if a 22 year old self-proclaimed “supreme gentleman” murdering 7 in a campus shooting spree because of sexual rejection doesn’t drive that home, I don’t know what else would. Not to mention the reactions i've seen. Now i'm going to look at one single response first and then share a few others.  Now, not to say you agree with this, but this sounds eerily similar to what you said Steve. In addition we are not animals. We can control out urges. We are not some instinct driven being that cannot manage to be around a short skirt and some legs without feeling the need to "claim it." Likewise "boys will be boys" is wrong - we are encouraging this behaviour and it is wrong. Plain and simple and we can be better; we have to be better. These are just a few other examples of responses to this guys video: Warning for language and triggers I'm not saying that all men are like this, I don't have to. But all woman have to fear men being like this, which is why we cannot pretend that this is a double standard being applied here. I'm all for having woman stop abusing men when it does occur but it should not be something which is made into a massive movement and fight as if things are unequal here. In a mysonginistic culture like we have it is wrong to pretend that this is a double standard being applied here. |
 
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| * Ketchup Revenge | May 26 2014, 02:24 PM Post #8 |
"Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the war room!"
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There is a 100% double standard for domestic abuse, and it's not even the fact that it doesn't happen to men as often as it does to women. Men have a masculine complex, and this false image that they seem to think that they must uphold. Domestic Abuse towards men happens way more often than it gets reported, but most men are too headstrong to even report it when it does happen. They think that people finding out that they can't handle the physical attacks of a woman somehow de-masculinizes them. While, to be entirely honest, you can have some seriously psychotic b*tches out there who will use a curling iron on your face. And this type of emotional abuse gets particularly muddy when we talk about kids getting involved. We also need to consider that the state actually supplements this type of behavior. The state can virtually take away the basic rights of fathers when it comes to their children. When a woman has a child, she can choose to and not allow the dad to take care of the child because of the simple fact that she gets more tax credits if she's a single mom. To me, that counts as emotional abuse toward the dad; particularly if he wants to be a father and a supporter for a child. She simply ends up using his absence as a meal ticket from the state. Now in New Jersey, a woman has the ability to not even tell the potential father that she went into labor. Literally, fathers have no rights when it comes to the state, unless they poke and prod at the state to see that the mother is unfit, but that takes a lot of effort and money. |
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| + Yusuke | May 26 2014, 03:05 PM Post #9 |
 
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Well first of all, thank god i'm an Aromantic lol. I never have to put up with any of this stuff. As for the topic at hand, their defiantly is a double standard here. Ever heard the term "equal rights, equal fights"? That's something that needs to happen in to happen in today's society. If a Women is going to abuse her partner like that, he should be able to do something to solve the problem even, if it means having to defend himself against his partner. Don't like how society is structured this way. Edited by Yusuke, May 26 2014, 03:06 PM.
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| Jet | May 26 2014, 03:15 PM Post #10 |
Ruka is a dude
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Well, I guess that makes it all right then...
I really hope you don't actually believe such a thing.
Where did you learn this? I don't know what world you live in, but a 22 year old male who's a virgin would generally face far more societal problems than their female equivalent. For one, depression and suicide rates are higher amongst males in this age group, and one of the contributing factors having lost two friends in the last two years is undoubtedly the feeling that something is wrong with them because they can't seem to find a girl...
Neither abuse is "socially acceptable", but generally the punishments in law, and the public's perception are far worse when a male physically abuses a female. Just think back to the Solange/Jay Z fiasco. A lot of people had a good laugh at that one. Reverse the roles, and I'm sure the comedic value would significantly lessen for those laughing.... Just a random comment: Solange's record sales have increased by 233% since that elevator incident.
I'm sorry...does being a male negate any chance of violence being directed your way or something? I guess male on male and female on male violence aren't things where you're from. I've feared for my safety countless times. You don't have to be a female to experience such a thing.
This opinion is once again based on the fallacy that males physically abusing females is somehow seen as socially acceptable, which it isn't. The OP demonstrates this to some extent.
Any ideology can become dangerous in the mind of a madman. Almost everyone faces sexual rejection at some point in their lives, and thankfully most of them don't pick up a gun to deal with it.
Well, there's really no justifying some of those comments. However, I'm sure anyone with a computer can find similarly stupid comments from females. Idiocy isn't unique to just males.
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| Meowth | May 26 2014, 03:32 PM Post #11 |
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Come back to me when a woman has made sexual advances on your way home in an intimidating manner, then talk to me about double standards. A man once did it when I was on my way home, it was scary as hell and if it wasn't on a main road, who knows what could have happened, but I ran and ran. Yes, it does exist but as Tim said, it's like straight people saying they are oppressed by the homosexuals, it may happen and it should be dealt with, but it's a minority of incidents. There are less women going around making rape jokes and feeling like men owe them something than the opposite way round. |
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| lunar2 | May 26 2014, 04:19 PM Post #12 |
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"Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults." from safehorizon.org men being 42% of abuse victims is a tiny minority, don't you think? although the number is likely higher, since men are less likely to report than women. http://domesticviolencestatistics.org/men-the-overlooked-victims-of-domestic-violence/ "Everyone quotes the statistics given by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 1 in 4 women will be victims of domestic violence at some point in their lives, 1.3 million women are assaulted by their partner every year, 85% of domestic violence reported is against women. However, in a conflicting survey taken by the CDC in 2010, it was found that 40% of the victims of severe, physical domestic violence are men." bolded for emphasis. afraid of being laughed at, indeed. "Although there has been an increase in the number of fatal domestic violence incidents against women, men are more likely to be victims of attacks with a deadly weapon. According to one study, 63% of males as opposed to 15% of females had a deadly weapon used against them in a fight with an intimate partner." who is it that grabs the rolling pin or the frying pan? not the men, usually. http://www.theguardian.com/society/2010/sep/05/men-victims-domestic-violence again with the 40% statistic, this one from the UK. and here is the actual CDC report where the US statistic comes from http://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/nisvs/2010_report.html tiny minority my a***. take your blinders off. when it comes to severe abuse (that which can actually cause injury or death) men are nearly as likely to be victims as women. and on a more personal note, every single abuser i've ever known, physical or otherwise, has been a woman. my dad never went berserk and started trying to beat me over the head for things my little brothers did. my mom did. my male teachers never stood by and let groups of students physically attack me, only stepping in when i started to fight back, and then punish me instead of the group. my female teachers did. when i was incarcerated, take a guess at which guards had other inmates attack me, routinely wrote me up for things i didn't do, and called me things like scum and punk, saying i had no rights? if you guessed the women, you're right. i've never once been abused by another man, despite being incarcerated with hundreds of other men, nearly all criminals, many violent, for 7 years. so explain to me how some of the worst men in the country still act better than the dozens of unstable, violent, and down right evil women i've known? |
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list of canon sources: the DB manga, and the Dr. Slump manga as it applies to the crossover during the rra saga. list of non canon sources: everything else, regardless of origin, format, or quality. for those that blindly follow word of god | |
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| Meowth | May 26 2014, 04:34 PM Post #13 |
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Certain crime statistics are flawed, such as rape and domestic violence, do you think a lot of women go the the police? They don't, they are scared of what will happen to them by their partner, with rape they are scared of not being believed. A lot of these kinds of crimes go unreported, who knows what the true figure is, could be anything. Personal experiences shape opinions, I haven't really met any violent women, maybe at school but kids are kids and often stupid, teachers generally didn't care as a whole at my school, male or female. Again, no one is ignoring it, but treat people as people, not separate genders, as it stands in this day and age, it is harder to be female than male, if everyone was treated equally, there wouldn't be an issue. |
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| Arkadom | May 26 2014, 04:41 PM Post #14 |
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Bargle nawdle zouss
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I think the bigger problem in this thread is that people are seriously debating which one is a bigger deal. It's not a competition of which should be solved first.. Both are horrendous things, I do not care if woman on man abuse is a "minority" it makes it no less of a problem. Whichever way you have the gender roles it's still a huge issue in society that needs to be sorted. I don't see how we can claim that we are the superior species of the planet and that we are so evolved when we can still be this way to one another, whether carrying out such offences or debating which is more of an issue on a forum. I've been the victim of a fair few manipulative women who have psychologically abused me in my life, and it's not even always relationship based, even my mother at one point in my life would toy with me that way, though I suspect that was just her way of dealing with the realisation that I wasn't just a small child that could be scolded any more. It's not much fun, and it truly is maddening. I've never wanted to retort to these things violently, in most cases would never even talk back, but in any case I would never sit there and think that women were evil, and that just because I wouldn't fight back I was totally pure. It's a big problem on both sides, and unfortunately, some of the victims of it just don't handle it so well. The guy that got all trigger happy is very much to blame, as much as I personally know the effects of such things and how they can make you feel, people should not be defending him or lauding him as a hero, he was very much a mad-man, no better than the "blonde sl*ts" he decided to murder, he had no right to act like he was a better person than them and had any right to take their lives, he was, however, a victim of circumstance, and were it not for his massacre I might have been sympathetic of him. Likewise, men can be just as psychologically abusive, as well as physically, but I think the problem is people taking sides here. Abuse is abuse, no matter which side it comes from, and it's all one big problem that needs to be resolved. America may have been defending South Vietnam from Communism but they still went to war and killed many. Abuse is no different, it's very much a two-faced coin, both sides are the same. --------------------------------- -Edited for comprehension's sake- --------------------------------- Edited by Arkadom, May 26 2014, 05:09 PM.
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In these eyes of mine Spoiler: click to toggle Epic for Copy_Ninja
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| Meowth | May 26 2014, 04:57 PM Post #15 |
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Much of your post made sense except for the quoted part. Yeah, rejection isn't nice, makes you feel bad and so forth, to say he was no better than those he killed is a bit far first off, he is much worse than that, killing is defiantly far worse than rejection, far far worse. |
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